Revenge of the Hobbits
by Dark Windsong
Summary: CH9 FINALLY UP! ::FAINT:: A simple rainy day in Rivendell escalades into an all out prank war... The pranksters... our favourite two hobbits Merry and Pippin and those infamous elven twins, and the victims... All of Imladris!
1. In Which Pip Feels Unwanted

Disclaimer: If you honestly think that I own any of this, then I'm serious, GET HELP! Duh, it belongs to Tolkien, not me, ah well, but I suppose I can always _pretend_?

_A/N: Hi people :) I thought I'd get to work on publishing this between the chapters of my mega Legolas angst fic, Captive. My other humour has been quite popular, and you guys have asked for more, so here it is. Please, review once you've read, cause if you don't, then I think that no-one's reading, and I don't want to update. Thanks ;P Enjoy!_

**Revenge of the Hobbits**

**-By Windsong of Darkness-**

Chapter One: In Which Pip Feels Unwanted

Pippin sighed, for perhaps the one hundredth time that morning. It was raining in the vale of Imladris, and he was bored, bored, bored! Everyone was ignoring him except Merry, and he didn't count. Strider was 'talking' with the Lady Arwen, which involved an awful lot of hugging and kissing, Frodo was sitting around looking melancholy, as always, even though his wound was now healed, Sam had persuaded the Lord Elrond to let him tend the garden, and the hobbit was now battling the weather outside. Gandalf was just smoking in a corner with his hat pulled down over his face (Pippin thought he looked rather like a very old Ranger), and he had knocked on the door of some dwarf, but had been told very rudely to 'go away!' The hobbit was pretty sure that everyone in Rivendell hated him. Merry always said that 'hate' was too strong a word for such things, but what did Merry know? Pippin felt hurt, no, correction – he felt angry! Well, he would have to get Merry and they would have to teach all of Rivendell a lesson! Hobbits are not to be ignored! Pippin grinned and trotted off to find his cousin, already feeling somewhat cheered.

oXo

"Oooh, sorry…" The hobbit nearly ran into a tall, handsome young elf with long golden hair and deep blue eyes, "Who are you?"

Legolas looked down his nose at the rather small hobbit before him. "I am Prince Legolas Greenleaf," he said proudly, "son of King Thranduil of the Woodland Realm. Might I ask the same of you, young one?"

"Err…" said Pippin, rather intimidated by this tall being, "I'm…I'm Pip."

"Pip," Legolas mused, "Funny name, but then, you seem to be a rather funny creature, barging into people. Good day to you, Pip," the elf said with a curt nod and went on his way.

"Oooh," said Pippin again, staring after him. He was so tall! The hobbit shook his head, coming back to his senses. "No," he said to himself, "He was most unfriendly. Definitely hates me! I will have to prank him. Hmm, now what was his name? Legolas, yes, that's it. _Prince_ Legolas Greenleaf. Pranked!" Peregrin hurried on hid way, but as he turned a corner, he found that the passage was blocked by Strider and Arwen having a very slurpy kiss. The hobbit stopped dead, blushing. Well, he had to get past…

"Ahem…" Pippin cleared his throat shyly, but he got no response, as the two lovers were so absorbed in each other that they had their eyes closed and would probably not have noticed if a horde of orcs had come stampeding down the passage. Peregrin was pretty sure that if they carried on at this rate then Aragorn would probably eat Arwen's lips off. Yuck. He was about to turn back when he had an idea. Sniggering quietly to himself, the hobbit padded silently (as only hobbits and elves can) up to the pair and squeezed carefully between them. Of course, Aragorn assumed it was Arwen, and Arwen assumed it was Aragorn. Pippin took a deep breath, savouring the moment, and then yelled, "BOO!" at the top of his lungs. The effect was electric.

"Orcs!" cried Aragorn, leaping about a meter into the air, and groping for his sword, only to find that he'd left it in his room, and then looking about, puzzled, as none of the foul creatures were to be seen. Arwen shrieked something a little more colourful when she saw the source of the disturbance, and aimed a kick at him.

Pippin squealed and dashed past them. Well, he knew _one _thing for _certain_ – they hated him, alright!

oXo

The hobbit stopped, panting, outside Merry's room, rubbing the back of his leg. It hurt where Arwen had kicked him. Who did she think she was? Asfaloth! Kicking people! Elves these days! Pippin snorted as he knocked on the door and entered.

oXo

"Hey, Pip," said Merry boredly. He was sprawled out on his bed, eating a bowl of sugar that he had nicked from the kitchens. He was dipping his finger in it, sucking it, and then repeating this. "What's up?"

"Err, Merry, you're going to go all happy if you keep eating that stuff," Pippin warned his cousin, "I don't think it's such a good idea."

"Maybe not, but it tastes good, and laughing for hours on end can be very therapeutic, you know." Merry offered Pippin the bowl, "Here, try some, you'll see."

"Ah, no thanks, Merry." Pippin shook his head, pulling a face. The sugar was all caked together and sticky from saliva. He certainly didn't want _that_, thank you very much! "No, what I came about also involves a fair amount of laughter, and I think it will appeal to you."

"Oh?" Merry dabbled his finger in the sugar, "What makes you think that?"

"Well, why don't I tell you?"

"Well, alright, don't leave me in the dark. You'd better not be plotting some nasty conspiracy against me with Frodo and Sam!"

"No, quite the opposite, my dear Merry. What I came about was pranks."

"Pranks!" Merry grinned, "On who?"

"Everyone in Rivendell 'cept you and I."

"Why, Pip?"

"'Cause they all hate me – all except you of course, and I want to get 'em back. Will you help me, Merry?"

"Okay." Merry sat up, really interested now, "But why do they all dislike you? I don't think they _hate_ you."

"Oh, I dunno, they're just ignoring me – some are even being aggressive!"

"Like who?" Merry sucked his finger and began to draw patterns in the sugar, only most of it just stuck to his wet fingertip, making him frown in annoyance.

"Strider and that she-elf he's so fond of! She kicked me!"

"Did she really?" Merry raised his eyebrows, "How unladylike!"

"Yeah, I got between them while they were kissing. Touchy, touchy!" Pippin snapped his wrist.

"Well I don't exactly blame them then, Pip," said Merry, "Kissing is something two lovers like to do _alone_! Who else dislikes you?"

"Everyone, but in particular, there was this elf. He's from some far off realm somewhere ---"

"Ah, that would be Prince Legolas?"

"Yes, that's him, and don't call him that. I don't care about honouring him with fancy titles and all. Just plain Legolas will do, or even Leggy…" Both hobbits had a snigger at this before Pippin continued. "Anyways, he was really offish to me. When I told him my name was Pip, he said it was a funny name, but that I was a funny creature, and then he just said 'Good day to you, Pip,' and walked off, but you know how somebody says 'Good day,' but really they mean they're really annoyed with you and…" The hobbit trailed off as he ran out of breath.

"Poor Pip." Merry patted his shoulder sympathetically, leaving behind grains of sugar on the younger hobbit's clothing, "Well, we'll just have to get revenge, won't we, eh, Peregrin?"

Pippin nodded seriously. "From now on," he said, "it's war. Hobbits versus Rivendell!"

Both hobbits looked at each other, grinning. "Oh yeah!"

TBC

_A/N: Well, how was that? Review and tell me, please. I hate it when someone reads but doesn't review, so couldn't you just take those extra two minutes to tell me what you thought? If you review me, I will reply, and I will try to read some of your stuff, provided it is LOTR and not slash. This is just the first chapter, and there will be more to come, so review review review, and I will update! I can only promise on weekends though, as I have limited computer time. Well, Namárië then, folks:)_

_-o-Windsong of Darkness-o-_


	2. Evil Plans

_A/N: Hey there, before I proceed with Ch2, I just want to say a HUGE thank you my wonderful reviewers. Thanks so much :) Now, let the fun begin._

Chapter Two: Evil Plans

"So," said Merry, "Who are we going to prank first?" Both Merry and Pippin were sitting on the former's bed. Merry had a piece of parchment and a quill which he had salvaged from Elrond's study, and Pippin was holding the inkwell.

The younger hobbit looked surprised at being asked to choose, so Merry added,

"I'm only letting you choose because you're the victim. On any other occasion, I'd choose."

"Oh, alright then, gosh, thanks Merry." Pippin frowned thoughtfully. "Well, seeing as he was so snobbish and rude to me, and he made me feel so small and insignificant…"

"Pip," Merry interrupted, "You _are_ small and insignificant. The word you're looking for here is _belittled_, Pip, and I'm assuming it was Legolas, right?"

"Yes, it was, and I am _not_ insignificant! I may be small, but I am definitely not insignificant!" Pippin harrumphed.

"Yes, yes, yes. So we're pranking Legolas first?"

Pippin nodded.

"Great," said Merry, "and we'll call it Operation Prissy Princeling!" Both hobbits had a good giggle and Merry wrote it down.

"Hey, that's kind of like a tongue-twister," said Pippin, as he was having trouble pronouncing the phrase, "Prissy Prissling! No no no! Prissy Princeling! Ah, I got it! Prissy Prissling! Oh, bother!"

"Next!" said Merry.

"Oh, I know!" Pippin rubbed his bruised leg, scowling darkly, "Strider and that Arwen, that's for sure! I'll make 'em pay!" The hobbit rubbed his hands together, grinning gleefully, "Revenge will be sweet!"

"Alright, what are we going to call it then."

"How about Operation Lustful lovers?"

"Oh yeah, even though Strider would call it 'INNAPROPRIATE'." Merry put it down. "Hee hee, Operation Lustful Lovers…" he snorted.

"Right, we'll prank Sam next," said Pip, "and we'll call it…Operation Gullible Gardener! How does that sound?"

"Great," said Merry, scribbling on the parchment, "How about Frodo next?"

"Yeah, why not?" Pippin tried to think of a title, but Merry beat him to it.

"Operation Ridiculous Ringbearer!" Merry wrote it down before Pippin had a chance to agree or disagree, "Who else then?"

"How about the Lord Elrond?" Pippin suggested.

"Pip," said Merry, showing some of his occasional sense, "We are NOT going to prank the Lord Elrond, and that is final!"

"But---"

"No buts. Subject closed!"

"Just thought I'd ask…" Pippin muttered.

"Well," said Merry, "Let me repeat – Who else do you want to prank?"

"Err," Pippin thought for a minute, "Well, there's that man from that far off city – Bondor or something; he doesn't look too intelligent – he walked into the wall this morning – we could prank him."

"I think it's Gondor, Pip, and Strider told me his name's Boromir, and he's a sort of prince, though his father's not really a king yet. I think he must actually be quite smart, even if he doesn't act it. I think he was drunk this morning…"

"Yeah, anyway, I think he'd make a good target for a prank, don'tcha think."

"I wholeheartedly agree. This prank game is going to be fun."

"Yes, and he _was_ ignoring me. He didn't exactly come knocking on my door asking for a game of chess. I'm actually quite good at chess, Merry, did you know that? We should have a game sometime…"

"No, Pip, I can't imagine you playing chess, let alone being good at it. Your logic is somewhat less than the average hobbit."

"Says who?"

"Well, sometimes it's kinda obvious."

"What do you mean by that? Are you insulting me, because even if I can't play chess, which I can, I'm telling you now, I can fight!"

"Cool it, Pip. Let's get back to the subject. So, we're going to prank this Boromir man?"

"Yup."

"But we can't have a Gullible Gondorian – we've already got a gullible gardener…"

"How about Operation Gormless Gondorian?"

"Pip, you're a genius!" Merry wrote it down.

"I am?"

"No."

"Oh."

"Anyone else then?"

"Yeah – that dwarf, Gimlit."

"Gimli, Pip."

"Whatever. When I knocked on _his_ door, he just said, no, correction, he just _growled_, 'get away!' I could smell pipeweed, so he must've been having a smoke without inviting me. That is definitely worthy of punishment, don't you think?"

"Aye, Pip! Down with the dwarf! Now, what shall we call this?"

"Operation Grouch!"

"Right, got it."

Pippin was on a roll. "Then we'll prank old Gandalf!"

"Err, Pip, that is NOT a good idea…"

"Yes, it is!" Pippin insisted, "Anyway," he said boldly, "if you want to get cold feet, then I will do it myself! Happy?"

"No way, Pip! We're both in this together, and Meriadoc Brandybuck does not get cold feet, no sir!"

"Alright, so we prank Gandalf then?" Pippin challenged. He knew he had beaten Merry, and he was proud of it, as this did not happen often.

"Yeah, I suppose so," said Merry resignedly.

"Great. Operation Wearisome Wizard! I'm sooo clever with words, aren't I?"

"No, not really, and what you're doing is called Alliteration." Merry wrote 'Wearisome Wizard' down.

"Alliter-what?"

"Never mind. Now I think we need one more prank to finish everything off, a Grand Finale, don't you think?"

Pippin nodded excitedly.

"We'll prank everyone, and it will be something that they will never forget! We'll do it in the hall!"

Pippin nodded again, wondering if 'everyone' included the Lord Elrond. He grinned.

"And we'll call it," said Merry,

"Revenge of the Hobbits!" they both cried simultaneously, and grinning, they slapped a high-five, "Whooo!"

oXo

"So," said Merry, once they were serious again, or, attempting seriousness, "Now we have to plan out the pranks. What's the first one again – oh," he glanced down at his sheet, chuckling, "Prissy Princeling!"

"Oh, yes!" said Pippin, "Now what does our Prissy Prissling (sorry, I just can't get my tongue around that one, dammit) hate, besides hobbits?

"Hmm," said Merry, prissy, snobbish Princeling Leggy would _hate_ to have his hair messed, you can see _that_!"

A smile slowly spread across Pippin's face. "I've got it!" he squeaked, and quickly told Merry his plan.

The older hobbit sniggered and scribbled frantically next to Prissy Princeling. "Next is Lustful Lovers," he said.

"Oh," said Pip, "That'll be easy. We'll just mess Arwen's hair, and Strider, well…oh, I know!"

oXo

And so the hobbits continued planning their evils until they had successfully plotted all of their pranks, including their Grand Finale, which took them ages, but eventually they finished.

"Well, Pip," said Merry, shaking out his aching wrist, "Rivendell is in for a few little surprises!"

"Oh yeah, some real treats!"

"I'll say, now what do you say to a good old pint in the kitchens?"

Both hobbits grinned, Merry shoved the parchment and quill under the mattress and hid the empty inkwell under the bed, and they went down to the kitchen practically in a state of euphoria, although Merry's might have been caused by the excessive amount of sugar he had consumed.

TBC

_A/N: Well, how was that? Review and tell me. Ch3 is coming next weekend, I hope, as I'm not even finished writing it yet, let alone typing it, but it'll be worth the wait, I promise :) The pranks will begin! Namárië and keep those great reviews coming – I love you guys,_

_-o-Windsong of Darkness-o-_


	3. Operation Prissy Princeling

_A/N: Well, here's the promised ch3! I hope you all enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it lol:)_

Chapter Three: Operation Prissy Princeling

It was late that night when Pippin stole into Merry's room. All of Rivendell was in bed, and the halls and corridors were finally quiet. The little hobbit was the only one up. He tiptoed over to his cousin's bed.

"Psst! Merry!" he whispered, "Are you awake? I am! Hey Merry! Wakey wake---!" Pippin was about to poke his cousin, when the older hobbit suddenly sat bolt upright, grinning like mad. Pippin jumped back with a small squeak of alarm. With the moonlight reflecting off his eyes and making his skin a horrible milky white, Merry looked just like some creepy ghost! "M-M-Merry! Is-is that you!" Pippin hugged his nightgown to his chest, quaking and ready to run away as fast as his little hobbit legs would go.

"Why wouldn't it be, Pip?" asked Merry curiously, and then, "And why wouldn't I be awake, you silly cousin!" He frowned, "Why do you look so scared? You look as if you'd seen a ghost…What's wrong, Pip?"

"Ghost! Where!" Pippin jumped the height of himself and looked about frantically, nearly tripping over the cord of his nightgown, which, was dragging on the floor, he had neglected to tie it yet again. "Oh, ahe, it's nothing, Merry…really." He blushed, embarrassed, "Lovely weather, eh?"

"Pip, you don't comment on the weather in the middle of the night unless it's storming! Are you sure you're alright, because we could always do this tomorrow night if you're not…"

"What! Are you crazy!" Pippin put his hands on his hips crossly, "I'm fine! Fit as a fiddle! Now you get out of bed, you lazy Brandybuck!"

"Yes," said Merry, "and you'd better stop making all that racket, because it could have, or maybe it has already woken somebody, in which case we will have to call the prank off for tonight, regardless of your current health."

"Sorry," Pip muttered, "But we really have to do it tonight…I've been _dying_ to do it! I don't _think_ anyone's awake, besides you and me, of course…" He strained his ears for any sounds that might mean that someone else was up and prowling the passages, but the only noises were their own breathing and the steady chirp of a cricket under Merry's bed. Somewhere, an owl hooted, sending little shivers up Pippin's spine.

"No; it's okay," reassured Merry, climbing out of bed and stifling a yawn.

"Well?" whispered Pippin, "Hurry up and get them! You _have _still got them, haven't you. You didn't ---?"

"No, Pip, I didn't, but I do admit they _are _pretty tempting. Takes a lot of self control not to!"

"Well, hurry up, I said!" Pip stamped his foot impatiently, silencing the cricket.

"Shh, Pip! Hold your horses! I can only move so fast!" Merry stepped into his slippers and pulled on his gown which had been hanging over the bedpost.

"Quick!" Pippin pestered, "You won't get frostbite from half an hour out of bed!" Merry glared at him.

"Cool it, little cousin!"

"Don't you---!"

"I'm doing it, okay?" Merry got down on his hands and knees and was about to lift his mattress, when he suddenly pounced on the floor. "Eureka! Got him!" He had something small and black held between his finger and thumb. The poor cricket was chirping in distress.

"Yay, Merry! You _did_ get him!" Pippin clapped his hands.

"Shh, Pip!" said Merry in annoyance, padding over to the window, "Well obviously, or I wouldn't have said 'eureka'!" He tipped the cricket out and dusted off his hands, pulling a face. "My hand's wet…Pip, you don't think?" A horrified expression of realization slowly spread across Merry's face.

"Yes, Merry, I do. When animals get stressed, sometimes they do that."

"Oh, ew! Gross!" Merry wailed, washing his hands in the basin that stood in the corner, "I have been vandalized by a cricket!" Pip raised his eyebrows.

"I think 'vandalized' is a little exaggerated, Merry, now please, just get the stuff and let's do it!"

"Yuck!" Merry dried his hands, "Alright, fine." He went back to his bed. "Blasted cricket!" The hobbit lifted the mattress and pulled out two bottles containing a liquid that looked black in the moonlight. "Woohoo, Prissy Prince Legolas is going to love this stuff!" he said gleefully, "Kitchen special!" He handed them to Pippin. "Drop these and you're dead meat."

"Don't worry," said Pip, putting them carefully into his gown pocket, "They're safe with me! Let's go!"

"No; wait!" exclaimed Merry, just as they were about to go through the door. He scurried into a corner and came back with a stout walking stick that Pippin recognized as Bilbo's.

"What's that for, Merry," asked Pip, frowning. Merry grinned mischievously and swung it, making Pippin leap out of the way.

"Watch who you…hit…with…that…cane? Oh no, Merry, you wouldn't! You could injure him!"

"Just a little bonk, Pip, to knock him out. What if he wakes up, eh? Then it'll be us who get bonked. Actually more like skinned alive…literally"

"Oh, alright then. But why didn't we just drug him?"

"Well, for obvious reasons, Pip!" Merry snorted, "Firstly, we would have had to have gotten the stuff from either Strider or the Lord Elrond, and that would have looked mighty suspicious, not to mention difficult (there would have been all_ sorts_ of awkward questions), secondly, Legolas might well be resistant to a good sleeping draught, and thirdly, if he _wasn't_, we could have given him an overdose and killed him, so there!"

"Well, I see your point now. Let's go, stick and all!"

"Yeah!"

oXo

The two hobbits quickly found Legolas' chamber, as they had been sure to trail him after supper. Luckily, the door had been left ajar, and so, quiet as two hobbits in the dead of night, they snuck in, Pippin with his hand in his pocket, keeping the bottles safe, and Merry clutching the cane tightly in a rather sweaty hand.

oXo

Legolas was asleep upon a luxurious four poster, complete with soft feather pillows and duvets (No animals killed in the production – feathers collected from moulting ducks and geese!). The problem: he was too high up for Merry to bonk him. Pippin tapped his cousin on the shoulder.

"Merry," he whispered, "I can lift you up onto the bed!"

"Err, alright." Merry was a bit reluctant, as he didn't altogether trust Pippin's strength. He could think of no other alternative, however, so he'd just _have_ to put his trust in Pippin, even if he _was_ lacking slightly in brain cells, and more than a little foolish. He'd also have to risk waking Legolas by scrambling onto his bed. "Quick, Pip."

"I'll just give you a leg-up, right? Climb up, then, Merry. I won't drop you, if that's what you're worried about." Pippin held out his hands.

"No, no, I'm sure you won't." Merry scrambled up and balanced instead of climbing onto the bed, stick raised above his head and ready to knock the sleeping elf prince out cold. Unfortunately for Merry, Pippin didn't realize what he was trying to do, and as the hobbit was about to bring the cane down on Legolas' head, Pip suddenly boosted him up onto the bed.

"Hurry up, Merry! You're heavy – what did you eat for supper? A boulder! Oh…no!" Pippin gasped, for Merry had landed heavily right on Legolas' chest. The elf groaned, and both hobbits froze, but they relaxed when Legolas remained dead still, and they realized that Merry had managed to knock him out after all, and without the use of Bilbo's cane.

"Pippin, you idiot!" Merry hissed angrily as he pulled his cousin onto the bed.

"I'm sorry." Pippin hung his head. "Well, at least that's done! Now, for the Kitchen Special!" Pippin extracted the bottles from his gown pocket and held them up admiringly. "Oh, he is going to _love_ these!" The hobbit giggled.

oXo

Quickly, the mischievous pair got to work. The job didn't take them long, but they left the room very satisfied indeed, and making sure to take all evidence of the crime out with them. They were _not_ going to get caught!

oXo

"What do you think he's going to say when he wakes up, Merry?"

"I think that 'What do you think he's going to _do_?' is more appropriate, Pip!" Merry snorted as they made their way back to their rooms, snickering and congratulating themselves on a job well done.

"Do you think he'll be mad? What if he just laughs it off?"

"Well, he'd better do _something_ that makes it worth our while, because I risked life and limb to get that stuff out of the kitchens. I was very nearly caught!"

"You were!" Pip couldn't believe that the one he considered as the master of sneaking, thieving and spying had nearly gotten himself caught.

"Err, no, I was only joking, Pip."

"Oh. So you're sure he'll do something amusing?"

"Pip...?"

"Yes, Merry?"

"Shut up, alright, because this whole thing was your idea! If it doesn't work, then it is holy and solely _your_ fault, not mine, understand?"

"Yes, Merry," said Pip meekly. In the dark, he stuck his tongue out at his cousin.

oXo

Soon, they came to Merry's room, and Merry opened the door, which he had been sure to close in case somebody should be wondering the halls at night. That way, it would look like he was still in, and no one would be suspicious.

"'Night Pip." He slipped quietly in. Pippin remained standing outside, and as the door was about to click shut, he asked in a small voice,

"May I sleep in there…?"

"What do you mean, Pip?" Merry raised his eyebrows.

"Err, on the floor of course, with a blanket, but…um, I'm scared…What if Legolas wakes up a bit too soon and suspects me? He'll come in my room, and he may get violent, in fact I strongly suspect that he _will _get violent. Please, Merry?" Pip blinked his big green eyes, though of course Merry couldn't see him, "Pretty please? I won't be any trouble, promise!" Merry sighed.

"Oh, alright, Pip, but I'm warning you – if you talk, whisper, wiggle, wriggle, jiggle, giggle, laugh, hoot, snicker, snort, snore, sniff, sneeze, burp…or otherwise create a disturbance, then I will physically kick you out! Is that clear!"

"Yes, Merry," said Pip solemnly, and then he rushed into him and threw his arms around his cousin. "Oh thank you, Merry, thank you! You're the bestest!"

"Pip!" Merry pushed his cousin away.

"Yes, Merry?"

"Shut up and get in here quick!" Merry hissed, "I think I hear someone – no, two someones coming!" He grabbed Pippin by the collar of his nightgown and yanked him into the room, closing the door swiftly and silently, and they both scurried into a corner (just in case the someones should open the door – that way, they wouldn't see the hobbits) just as the elven twins, Elladan and Elrohir, came sneaking down the passage grinning and snickering to each other, on their way to raid the Rivendell kitchens.

oXo

"I think there are spare pillows and blankets in that closet," said Merry, emerging from his corner and pointing. Pippin came out of hiding too and shuffled over to it, yawning and suddenly feeling very sleepy. He handed Merry the empty bottles on the way. Merry shoved them back under the bed and propped the cane up in a corner. He'd have to return it to Bilbo with some excuse 'Oh, hi Bilbo, I picked this up by mistake…I thought it was mine…' Something like that.

oXo

Pippin opened the closet and squeaked in alarm as he was smothered by a rain of bedding.

"Pippin!" Merry groaned and went to disentangle his cousin from a feather duvet.

"Thanks, Merry!" Pippin got up, dusted himself off, and tripped over a pillow. "Ouch!" he exclaimed, "Am I imagining it, or are these things bent on killing innocent hobbits like myself!"

"Pip, inanimate objects such as bedding cannot posses a desire to kill! And you are definitely not innocent! One thing you are though is clumsy, now stand up, carefully, mind, take some duvets and however many pillows you need, and set your bed on the floor somewhere."

"May I make a tent?"

"No, Pip, you may _not_ make a blanket tent! You've made more than enough mess already!"

"Just thought I'd ask…" Pippin gathered up three duvets and a pillow stumbled over to a clear patch of floor, peering over his mountain of bedding. He laid the two duvets down to form a mattress, and put the remaining one on top of that. Finally, he plumped up the pillow and dropped it at the head of his improvised bed. "Good night, Merry!" He took off his nightgown and slippers and got in to find that it was surprisingly comfy for what it was – a couple of duvets on the floor with another duvet for the blanket and a pillow. He stretched out and gave a big, contented sigh.

"Goodnight, Pip." Merry got into his own bed and pulled the covers up to his chin.

"Goodnight, Merry."

"Pip, you already said goodnight, now go to sleep."

"Aren't you glad the cricket's gone?" Pippin giggled.

"Pip, go to sleep before I kick you out! Remember your promise?"

"What promise?"

"Not be trouble!"

"Oh yeah, right, hehe."

"Well, goodnight then."

"You also already said goodnight, Merry."

"Pip, shut up already!"

"Okay, Merry." Pip was quiet for a few minutes, and Merry was just daring to believe that he was asleep, when their was a little voice in the dark.

"Merry?"

"No, Pippin! Not now!"

"I got a mosquito!"

"Well, pull your duvet over your head and forget about the damn thing! One more noise and you're out, now go to sleep, dammit!"

"Okay, Merry." Pippin pulled the duvet right up until only his nose was sticking out, and he soon dropped off. Merry had just about fallen asleep too, when he heard a faint sound. A whining, buzzing sound…

"Bloody mosquito!"

TBC

_A/N: Wheee:) What did you guys think! I laughed and laughed while reading this to my younger sister, and ifd I found it funny, I'm sure you all loved it more, right? There was some good old fluff at the end. I love fluff lol :) It's sooo cute! When you review, you could try having a guess at what the hobbits did to poor Leggy's hair, and what it was that they used. Hint: It was from the kitchens. It was NOT food colouring lol:) Well, I haven't even written ch4 yet, but provided I have by next weekend, that's when it'll be coming in. See you then! _

_Windsong of Darkness _


	4. New Recruits, And You're All Wrong, LOL!

_A/N: Sorry that I haven't updated in so long! First weekend I got banned from computer cause I went to bed a little late when my parents got home from the movies late – around 11:00. I went to bed 12:00 – what's so wrong with that lol? And now, the computer on the www is broken! Fortunately it is not mine, but mine is not on the www! It is school IT lesson, in case you are wondering how I managed to update! AND I JUST GOT MY BRACES OFF! YAY! You are all wrong about the substances used to dye Leggy's hair – every single one of you lol! ROTFL! Here it is, the chapter if truth…_

Chapter Four: New Recruits, And You're All Wrong, LOL! ;P

Early the next morning, Legolas opened his eyes slowly and blinked sleepily. Odd. He had been sleeping with his eyes _closed_. The elf was sure he had gone to bed with them open. Another thing – his chest ached with a dull pain. Maybe he was sick, but that didn't make sense because elves were immortal and they didn't _get_ sick! It was very odd indeed. Frowning, Legolas pushed himself up in bed and winced as his bruised ribs protested. He sat like this for a moment, and then pushed back the covers and swung his long legs out of bed. Stepping into his favourite green slippers and pulling on his gown (also green), he padded across the room to his chest of drawers. He picked up his intricately carved wooden comb and dragged it through his hair. First things first! As he put it down again, something caught his eye, and he picked the comb up again and squinted hard at it. There were two strands of hair caught between the teeth, and one was blue and one was a dark pink! No, that was completely illogical! Hair didn't just turn pink and blue overnight. Legolas put the comb down. Maybe he _was_ sick after all, and the symptoms were hallucinations. It must be some rare elven disease. He was doomed! Well, he might as well spend his last hours in peace. Groaning to himself and convinced he was at death's door, Legolas kicked off his slippers sadly (he would never wear them again!), shrugged off his gown, and hopped into bed, downing the glass of water that stood on his bedside table. He pulled the covers up to his chin and waited for death to claim him. Two hours later, he still hadn't died, and he was desperate for the bathroom. Muttering furiously to himself, Legolas got out of bed and back into his gown and slippers, opened his bedroom door, and stepped out (rather unsteadily, as his mind had now tricked his body into believing that he was sick. Also, he was so desperate to go…) into the passage.

oXo

On his way back, Legolas encountered the elven twins, Elladan and Elrohir. They were both staring at him, Elladan's jaw dropping slightly.

"Hi," Legolas croaked. The twins just gawped. "Yeah," said Legolas miserably, "I know…I am dying of some horrible disease. Don't carry on…"

"No," said Elladan, eyes wide.

"It's not that at all," continued Elrohir.

"Your hair…"

"It's…"

"Blue and pink!" They both cried, and began to snigger.

"…What!" So Legolas hadn't been imagining it after all. The disease must have turned his hair blue and pink!

"Yeah," snorted Elladan, "It's blue with pink stripes!"

"No, it's pink with _blue_ stripes!" Legolas looked from one arguing twin to the other, horrified, gasped, and then sprinted for his room.

"Doesn't look so sick to me," Elladan commented.

"I'm telling you, 'Dan, it's pink with _blue_ stripes."

"Whatever, 'Ro."

oXo

Slamming the door behind him, Legolas dashed to the chest of drawers and yanked so hard upon the drawer knob that it came off in his hands and the drawer itself flew out and landed on his foot. Legolas stood wide eyed for a moment and then looked down. The drawer took a moment to register 'pain', but when it did, the halls and passages of Rivendell echoed with the Prince's shouts and atrocious language. Elladan and Elrohir raced in, alarmed, to find Legolas hopping around on his good foot and clutching his bad one in both hands, swearing all the while.

"Rhaichrhaichrhaichrhaichrhaichrhaich…" The twins exchanged a look, eyebrows raised, and then Elrohir quietly put a hand on Legolas' shoulder. The Prince of Mirkwood abruptly stopped jumping and whipped around to face the twins. "What is your business here!" he snapped, "Can you not see that I am dying and in great pain!"

"We can see that you have hurt yourself," began Elrohir.

"It was the bloody drawer, not me!" Legolas interrupted.

"Ah," said Elladan, eyebrows still up, "I see, but I cannot, however ---"

"We don't see how you could be so badly wounded as to be dying. You are not bleeding profusely; in fact you do not seem to be bleeding at all…"

"I am _sick_!" Legolas protested, "I already told you!"

"Oh." Elladan frowned, "Right. Well you certainly don't look it. But I must say, you do look – and smell – a little, err…Fruity?"

"Eccentric," Elladan finished, "You know, you really ought to find a looking glass!"

"I have one." Legolas limped around the fallen drawer, knelt down, dug around in it, and triumphantly pulled out a small hand held mirror, face down. He slowly turned it upwards, making the twins giggle.

oXo

Legolas sat dead still and blinked those big blue eyes of his in utter horror. Then his jaw slowly dropped.

"It is blue with pink stripes, is it not?"

"Pink with blue stripes, 'Dan."

"Shut up, 'Ro."

"Don't you tell me to---!"

"Shh, we can take this outside later. Just watch." Elladan turned his attention back to Legolas. "I am right, aren't I!" Silently, Legolas nodded, and then he suddenly gave a little squeak, and without warning, flung the mirror. It hit Elladan in the face and bounced into his arms. "Ouch!" the elf exclaimed, dropping the mirror (face down for obvious reasons) in the drawer, "If I had not caught that, it would have broken, do you know that? And it would have been ---!"

"Seven years' bad luck for you!" Elrohir finished.

"Don't care!" Legolas wailed.

"Actually," mused Elladan, "I think you would've, especially if the bad luck had involved ---"

"Just ignore 'Dan!" Elrohir gave Legolas a big grin. "Now why don't you go and wash that stuff off before it stains, eh?"

"_STAINS!_" Legolas yelped and leapt about a foot in the air. Both twins nodded seriously.

"I suggest that you head for the bath houses immediately!"

"Go, go, go!" Elladan practically pushed Legolas, on the brink of tears, out of the chamber door.

"But!"

"No buts' – go!" Elladan and Elrohir had to get rid of Legolas so that they could find the person responsible for the hair and…congratulate them! They both had a good idea of who this person was; and if they were right, then there were two people responsible – two hobbits, to be exact. Both twins had heard what they had termed 'hobbit sounds' last night while passing the one called Merry's door, just after they had heard it slam. There had been hissing and scolding sounds coming from within. Definitely Meriadoc Brandybuck and Peregrin Took.

oXo

Elladan and Elrohir watched as Legolas hurried along the passage to the bath houses, his multi-coloured hair streaming out behind him.

"Let us go and find the pranksters responsible and---"

"Join them!"

"My thoughts exactly; 'Ro, I do wish you would stop interrupting me sometimes! As I was trying to say …Ahem, so, we shall join them. Perhaps they have other pranks planned?" There was a twinkle in both twins' eyes as they set off towards Merry's room.

oXo

Merry and Pippin stood in Merry's doorway. Both had overslept (two pranksters should have been up before dawn to pack up, especially Pip), and they feared they had missed the action. Just then, to their delight, there was the sound of running feet, and Legolas sprinted past, making for the bath houses as fast as he could go (which was fast), his hair a glorious strawberry juice pink and blueberry juice blue. Both hobbits grinned from ear to ear the moment he was gone.

"Prissy Princeling," Merry whispered, "High five!" He and Pip slapped five and turned back into the room to discuss their victory and perhaps clean up a little, but as Merry was about to close the door, someone tapped him gently on the shoulder and the hobbit let out a squeal of alarm, not unlike Pippin in a difficult situation. Both hobbits whipped around to find themselves facing two identical elves.

"This is Elladan, and I'm Elrohir. Do not be afraid." Elrohir attempted to calm the two rather frightened cousins, "We mean you no harm."

"Yeah, we're the two incredibly evil kitchen raiders you heard last night." Elladan grinned, making the hobbits relax somewhat. "If you two are who we think you are, and you did what we think you did," he winked and grinned some more, actually getting both Merry and Pippin to grin back, "then the four of us need to have a Long Talk, because we want in!"

TBC.

_A/N: Now I have to write out the next few chapters. I will do that while we are on holiday. Yes, I will not be updating in a few days as my family are going off to the land of sheep, horses and trout…Barkley East or something. Sure, horses are great but the rest…and I suppose you can eat smoked trout, so that is okay too, but I suppose I will be doing a lot of reading, writing, listening to music and drawing cartoons (yes, I am quite the artist lol! Everyone at school is always like " ----, you're good!";) Also, I will miss Prison Break! Oh no, I can't believe it! I will get my grandparents to tape it. Well, I suppose I have been rambling on and on about random things and my amazing artistic talents (sorry if I seemed to be boasting a little – I am not usually like that) So, namárië for now!_

_-Windsong-_


	5. The Fearsome Foursome

Hey people! I'm back, and I was wrong about the holiday – it turned out 2 B the best holiday eva! The place was absolutely STUNNING – it looked like Rohan X The Shire, and I got 2 ride horses all day, and had my very first controlled gallop – went out without my dad – just my younger brother:O Well, enough of that, here is ch5! Enjoy!

Chapter Five: The Fearsome Foursome

Merry, Pippin, Elladan and Elrohir sat down to breakfast trying to master four mischievous grins. The hobbits had just filled the twins in on their plans, and both elves were now very much a part of the plot. As they helped themselves to breakfast, all four noticed slyly that a certain elf was missing.

"Pity Legolas isn't here," said Pippin through a mouthful of scone with strawberry jam and fresh cream, "Breakfast is sooo good this morning!" Merry agreed.

"Yeah, have you tried the blueberry pancakes? Look, Pip! My tongue's blue! These are some blueberries!"

oXo

Halfway through breakfast, Legolas made his appearance. Dressed in his usual garb, there was nothing unusual about him, except that his hair was now a rich, muddy brown. The entire hall fell silent as the Prince of Mirkwood, the expression on his face enough to slay a Balrog, sat down at the table and began to feverishly help himself to breakfast. This only made people stare at him harder. So much for trying to act normal! What was wrong? Legolas looked down at his plate and saw that he had dished himself up a very odd breakfast indeed. He had mixed salt and cinnamon with the strawberries, cream and pepper with his pancakes, sugar and lemon juice with the eggs and castor sugar with the smoked salmon on toast. Anyway, why the hell did he have so much food in the first place! Legolas flushed bright red, coughed, pushed his plate aside, and carefully helped himself to a new, much smaller portion of breakfast. He ate quickly, all the while wanting the ground to open up and swallow him, and then he disappeared silently up to his chamber with a face like thunder. Merry, Pip and the twins shared a chuckle once he was out of earshot.

oXo

After breakfast, the pranksters headed out to a large weeping willow in the West Garden. The long trailing branches of the tree hung down to form a sort of room, perfect for secret meetings.

"Y'know," said Merry thoughtfully, "Now that there are four of us, we ought to have a team name, don'tcha think?"

"Yeah!" agreed Pip enthusiastically.

"That's an idea," said the twins together, and then looked at each other, annoyed. "I was going to say that!"

"Well, any suggestions?" Merry prompted.

"Frolicsome Four!" said Pippin brightly. Merry snorted in disbelief.

"Ha! Frolicsome Four! That has got to be the most ridiculous…"

"Funky Foursome?" suggested Elladan.

"Err…no…I-I I don't think so," said Merry politely. He was _not_ going to cheek an elf nearly twice his height!

"How about _Fearsome_ Foursome?" Everyone turned to look at the grinning Elrohir. "Yeah, Fearsome Foursome, that's what I said! What about it?"

"Err…That's…that's…" Merry couldn't hide the fact that he was impressed. "Wow, that's really good! Fearsome Foursome! I like that! Yeah! That's what we'll be! The Fearsome Foursome!" Merry was not going to let Elrohir get away with making up the whole team name, even if he himself had only added the 'the'.

"Fearsome Foursome handshake!" cried Elladan, and the newly assembled Fearsome Foursome slapped a very ordinary and rather pathetic five together. "That was _not_ a handshake!" Elladan muttered, "We _have_ to work on something better!"

"A very…original one!" said Merry, getting up and grinning, "But right now, we have Operation Lustful Lovers, Part I, to attend to. Fearsome Foursome, let's go!"

oXo

What do you think of my team name? ;) Any prank ideas? Lustful Lovers and Wearisome Wizard are already planned, but any other suggestions are welcome! I know this was pathetically short :( Post again soon,

-Windsong-


	6. Hiccough!

**Err, hi… -peeps out from behind computer- Remember me? Yeah, that's right – I'm that author who used to update regularly, and prides herself on her regular updates –dodges sharp object- No, really, I do! Let me take a moment to explain – first I was totally snowed under with projects and still more projects, but I submitted this really amazing tech project and got full marks – yeah! Now, it's exams – aargh! So I've taken a break from studying to post this. Also, LOTR NIGHTMARE CAMP GOT TAKEN OFF! SOME STUPID ------- REPORTED IT! When your story gets taken off, you aren't allowed to update in a while. The ban has JUST been lifted! I won't be posting anymore chat/script format again! School breaks up on the 30, and I have an operation on my foot, so I won't be doing much ie. you'll be getting lots of updates! This chapter is really funny, try reading in Merry and Pip's accents if you can. I can do a really good Pip accent. We went out to this restaurant the other day and I ordered a slice of cake in Pip's accent. Waitress thought it was v. funny :D Anyway, on with Chapter Six!**

Chapter Six: Hiccough!

The Fearsome Foursome knew what they needed to do…Part I of Lustful Lovers was Strider's prank, and boy, was he in for it or what! The hobbits headed off to the kitchens to find butter, lard and all things greasy and slippery, and the twins went to their father's study for some good, strong glue. Merry also returned Bilbo's cane. Luckily the old hobbit was not in, and so Merry had only to lean the stick in the corner and leave without answering to anyone.

oXo

The group met up in Merry's room a few hours later, and counting up the various items that now lay in a heap on the floor, they were delighted to see that they had everything that they needed.

"Was anyone seen?" Merry asked, rubbing his hands together gleefully.

"We were…" began Elladan. Pippin gasped, not seeing the twinkle in his eyes.

"By the spider on the ceiling!" guffawed Elrohir. Pippin harrumphed. "He's been in ada's study for _weeks_ now," Elrohir continued, "I don't know what he survives on… I keep telling him he should ---"

"Telling who? The spider or Ada?" Pippin looked confused.

"Well, you don't talk to spiders," Elladan told him, "Though I've heard 'Ro talking to the thing – 'Hi Hobbit ---'" He was interrupted as Elrohir clapped a hand over his mouth.

"Why don't you take the hint and shut up?" he growled. Elladan promptly bit him.

"Hah!"

"That wasn't very nice, 'Dan!" huffed Elrohir, examining his hand, "Well at least it's not bleeding. You're not rabid, are you?"

"Nah, well at least I don't think so…What's rabid?"

"Ah, forget it."

"Why did you call the spider Hobbit?"

"Hey – we're not spiders!" cut in Pippin, confused.

"No," giggled an oddly quiet Merry, "Why don't you eavesdrop more and talk less – you'll understand a lot more in life."

"Pardon – eaves – drop!" Poor Pip was even more lost.

"I guess I called him Hobbit 'cause he looks like one – short, fat, tubby and hairy...Like a hobbit!" Elrohir shrugged, grinning wickedly. Merry immediately went on the offensive.

"I am NOT fat and…" he looked down at his feet, "hairy…?" He frowned.

"So you admit to being short!" crowed Elrohir, and then realized his mistake. Pippin sniggered.

"Well, obviously, I'm a hobbit, and hobbits are short! It is one of the unique physical traits that makes them hobbits! Folk don't call us Halflings for nothing you know. Yup, I'm a hobbit, and proud of it. There aren't many that can quaff ale like a hobbit!"

"Oh yeah?" challenged Elladan, an eyebrow cocked, looking down at the hobbit with mock superiority.

"Yeah!" said Pip, now feeling quite sure that he was a hobbit after all, and not a spider. Anyway, spiders had black fuzz, didn't they? He was a straw-coloured blonde.

"Drinking contest!" yelled Elrohir.

"You're on!" Merry's eyes sparkled, "Prepare to be beaten hollow!"

"To the kitchens!" Elladan took off, the rest hot on his heels. "Race you!"

oXo

"Oo-oohhhh…that washn't a good idea," Elrohir moaned as he staggered up the stairs some hours later, clutching the banister tightly. Elladan looked at him forlornly.

"Beaten them I would have if manashed to –hic– keep the shtuff down I had…" The elf looked rather sick. "Drank more than them, I did... –hiccough–"

"Well I –hic- WON!" Merry was jubilant. "Fair 'an shquare!"

"No, I did!" cried an indignant Pippin, reeling drunkenly as he reached the top of the stairs. "Oohhhhh, look, guysh, a pink oliphaunt! 'An look – he'sh riding a flying cart pulled by flying pigsh!" He broke into bouts of hysterical laughter and then suddenly burst out crying. "Aargh, it's an orc! Save me! Save me!" Merry gave him a bloodshot look.

"Peregrin Took, you are drunk!"

"Well, a fine one to be talking, -hic- aren't you?" giggled Elladan. Then the poor elf suddenly went green, slapped a hand over his mouth, muttered "Going to be sick I am!" and ran.

"He'sh drunk!" laughed Pippin, who had forgotten the orc. "Oohh, a purple unicorn. He'sh sho pwetty!" He giggled happily and tottered forwards, arm extended to pet his hallucination.

"Yesh," said Merry sagely, gazing blearily after the disappearing figure of Elladan, "that'sh what happensh when you get…ah…ooh…err…ohhh…drunk…" Merry went very green, but after swallowing a few times and taking a couple of deep breaths he seemed to gain control of himself. "Hic."

"Merry," said Pippin, hands on hips in what he hoped was an imposing manner and swaying dangerously, "you are _so_ dwunk! Stardust says so too." He giggled and petted his imaginary unicorn.

"Am not! –Hiccough–"

"Fashe it, Halfling, you'we dwunk." Elrohir decided to join this. "Shay, where'sh that bruvva of mine?"

"I'm NOT dwunk!" Without warning, Merry swung a powerful punch that nearly broke Pippin's jaw. Slightly dazed by the impact, Pip clouted him back.

"ARE TOO!"

"AM NOT!" Merry tripped Pip up and tried to throttle him, but Pip bit his hand.

"Owww!"

"Servesh you right, you stupid –"

"Rrrgh!" Merry slugged Pippin. Elrohir tried to separate them, but in his severely inebriated state, he was unsuccessful.

"Guysh! Guysh no! Shtop it! Fighting'sh bad! Very bad! Mushn't fight! No! Shtop it! _Guysh_!" When Elladan returned, looking slightly better, the scene looked like this: two hobbits and an elf were locked in an epic battle on the landing. Elrohir, who had finally lost his temper, had Merry in a headlock, Merry was sitting on Pippin, and Pippin was bent on throttling the life out of Merry. It was not a pretty sight. Elladan scratched the top of his head, logic having deserted him in his current state.

"Guysh?" No answer, except that Pip tightened his hold on Merry's neck, so there was a muffled squeak from Merry. Elladan cocked his head to one side, trying to make sense of the situation, but thinking aggravated his headache, and his vision was somewhat clouded. "Shee you later, guysh." Elladan turned and headed for his room, thinking only of sleeping off the worst hangover of his life. Eventually, Elrohir came somewhat to his senses and sent the hobbits to there rooms, and then he retreated to his own, falling asleep as soon as he flopped down onto his bed, his last thought being that he would never, ever participate in another drinking contest again.

oXo

"So you think it's late enough?" Elladan asked. It was around ten o'clock that night and the Fearsome Foursome were once more gathered in Merry's room, awake and ready for action – at least, the elves were. The hobbits were awake, all right, but they did not feel at all fearsome at that moment. More like Terribly Tired Twosome. Merry groaned. Both still had splitting headaches. They did NOT feel like pranking anyone at this moment.

"Whatever," grumped Merry.

"So, we can do it then," prompted Elrohir.

"Guess so." Pippin flopped onto Merry's bed with a groan, and stared blankly at the ceiling. "I've looked everywhere, but I can't find Stardust! He was my friend." Elladan snorted.

"Because it was a hallucination, you nutcase! It wasn't real – you saw it because you were drunk."

"Oh, can I get drunk again then; I miss him," said Pip forlornly. Elrohir snorted.

"Well, back to the subject," he said.

"Yeah, let's go," said Elladan impatiently, "We're wasting time!"

"'Kay." Merry got up of the bed and promptly crashed to the floor. He sat there, looking up at the twins balefully. "Ohhh, my head…" The hobbit lay down on his back, regretting the drinking contest.

"Change of plans," announced Elladan, hands on hips, "'Dan and I are going to set this one up by ourselves. The two off you will only stuff things up."

"Yeah, go ahead," answered Pip monotonously.

"Mmm," said Merry, half asleep.

"Good," said Elrohir, collecting up the required items, and then he and Elladan marched purposefully out of the door, leaving behind the two hobbits, Merry flat on the floor and Pip sprawled on the bed. Soon, the room was filled with soft snores.

oXo

Shortly, the twins returned, waking two rather disgruntled hobbits to inform them that the prank had been successfully set up. Then they said goodnight and left, disposing of the used items. Elladan took a while to fall asleep, but when he did, his dreams were filled with Rangers, boots and glue…

TBC – REALLY

**To let you all know, I would NEVER, EVER EVER (recurring) abandon a story! You can have it in writing (LOL): I, Windsong of Darkness, do hereby pledge my allegiance to in that I will never abandon a story – ever! Happy? Because that is a crime! Punishable by death! Lol. Talking of crime, anyone watch Prison Break? It is SOOO good! The next chapter of my big angst story is on its way, and I am past page 200 in rough drafts:O (random) C ya. Lol Elladan's Yoda impersonation.**

**Windsong**


	7. Damned Floor!

**See, I told you it would be continued ;)**

Chapter Seven: Damned Floor!

Aragorn stretched, yawning loudly. It was the start of a perfect day! Well, so what if it was raining? Rain made things all shiny and new, and it made all the plants grow. The Ranger jumped out of bed and dressed. As he pulled on his boots, there was an odd 'squelch' and a bit of a wet feeling, through his socks, but he dismissed it. He and Arwen _had_ been dancing in the rain yesterday, so wet boots were not to be unexpected. They'd dry. Anyway, why wait for the boots to dry – why shouldn't they just go do it again after breakfast! Aragorn grinned to himself and set off across the richly carpeted floor towards the door. Leaving the room and closing the door behind him, the Ranger started to have problems. There were no more carpets now, only smooth, polished wood, and it appeared that his boots were no longer compatible with this floor type. The moment he took a step, his legs splayed, and he slipped onto the floor. Luckily he was so supple, else it would have hurt. Aragorn hastily pulled himself up again, frowning. He hoped that no-one had seen. The Ranger was scarcely on his feet for five seconds before he crashed to the floor again, this time landing flat on his face. It must be the floor. His boots had been perfect yesterday. Yes, that must be it – the floor must have just been polished. It did look a little shinier than usual on the spot where he had fallen… With a grunt, the Ranger pulled himself up against the doorknob, hanging on for dear life. Then, he slowly released it, and, step by step, began slowly to make his way across the floor.

oXo

"Hiya, Strider! Whattaya doin'?"

"Huh! WHOAH!" Aragorn turned to look at Pippin and fell flat on his face. Pippin giggled.

"I thought you guys were supposed to have elven balance and stuff?"

"Yeah," Aragorn huffed, picking himself up on hands and knees, "We do…" Pip cocked an eyebrow.

"What'ya doin'?" he asked again.

"Trying to navigate this damned floor!" Aragorn growled, "Some bloody fool went and polished it!"

"Oh," said Pippin innocently, looking down at the fallen Ranger, "Well, I'll be careful then. Seems floor polish is more dangerous than I thought. See you at breakfast. I'll save some pancakes for you. Bye!" And the hobbit ran down the corridor quite easily. Aragorn didn't see the grin that was slowly spreading across the young prankster's face. Still, he did not get suspicious nor think to check his boots. He supposed that Pippin, being small, and with large feet, probably had better weight distribution over the slippery floor.

oXo

Soon, to his dismay, the Ranger discovered that he was unable to get up – there was nothing in reach for him to pull himself upright with. Damned floor! He'd have to crawl! Sooo embarrassing! The Ranger set off across the floor on hands and knees. Funny thing was, he wasn't slipping at all now, and the floor didn't feel slippery beneath his hands. Oh well, so much the better.

"What _are_ you doing, meleth nin?" It was Arwen, the love of Aragorn's life. The Ranger blushed a deep crimson and turned around slowly. The she-elf was standing in the passage, eyebrows raised, and seemed to have no trouble keeping her balance. Maybe it was just elves though. "What is going on, Estel?" she inquired curiously.

"It's this damned floor!" Aragorn exploded, "It's been polished and now for the life of me I cannot keep my balance!" Arwen's eyebrows went higher.

"To the best of my knowledge, the last time the floor was polished was last week, so I do not know why you are having trouble. Might I suggest checking your boots?"

"My boots? Why?"

"Sometimes you are not the brightest Ranger, Estel. I think that you may be the victim of a prank, a practical joke." Aragorn frowned. "Well, why don't you check those boots then?"

"All right." Examining the undersides of his boots, Aragorn found them to be coated in a greasy substance, its smell reminiscent of butter, lard and floor polish all mixed together. So that was why he had been slipping! Arwen raised her eyebrows again, amused despite herself.

"Who do you think could have done this to you?" Arwen asked, trying to suppress a giggle. It didn't take Aragorn long to put two and two together. Arwen had insulted Pippin, it was a 'boring' rainy day, and now this! No wonder the hobbit had seemed so innocent when they had met in the passage.

"Peregrin Took," he said with finality, and as an afterthought, "And Meriadoc Brandybuck – he couldn't have done it alone – to much thinking and planning involved."

"Oh," said Arwen, voice taking on a different tone, "you mean that Halfling who so rudely interrupted us when we were - !"

"Yeah, that's the one." Aragorn made it to the bathroom, where he cleaned off Pippin's greasy mixture. He failed to notice a number of small holes in the sole of each boot. The Ranger strode confidently out of the bathroom, and he and Arwen made their way down to breakfast.

oXo

Aragorn reached for a strawberry muffin, but he didn't get his hands on it, instead slipping and falling, knocking Arwen backwards and landing in her lap, both lovers giving a surprised yelp. At the big table, Elrohir, sniggered. Aragorn flushed and scrambled to his feet, pulling Arwen up with him, but was quickly flat on his back, winded. Arwen managed to make an undignified leap out of the way.

"Uhhh…"

"Estel!" The Lord Elrond hurried towards his adopted son, his face creased with worry, "Are you ill!" Gasping for breath, Aragorn shook his head.

"Boots! Pranked!"

"Well then take them off and we shall seek out the culprit!"

"Pippin Took and…Merry Brandybuck!" At table, Pip opened his mouth to gasp, but Merry elbowed him in the ribs.

"He can't prove it!"

"Well, let's get this boot off…" Elrond took hold of it and yanked, intending to pull it off. Easier said than done. Aragorn gave a yell.

"OW OW OW! Stop! It's stuck to my skin! STOP! OW!" Elrond released the boot, for what Aragorn said was indeed true. If Elrond didn't know better he'd say it had been glued.

"Let's try the other one…" Elrond pulled, but with the same result.

"It's no use," said Aragorn gloomily, "It's stuck."

"Well, it does appear to be." People began to gather round, suddenly finding Aragorn's predicament a lot more interesting than their breakfasts. Legolas sniggered. His hair was now back to its pale blonde.

"It's glued," said Aragorn dismally, "– when I put my boots on this morning they were all wet inside, but they dried very quickly, too quickly, come to think of it."

"Not to worry," said Elrond cheerfully, helping him up and hanging onto him tightly to prevent the Ranger's boots from slipping on the wooden floors. It had been Elladan's bright idea to make holes in the soles of the boots and fill them with more of Pippin's concoction so that if the first coat was wiped off then it would still continue to trickle out through the holes, coating the undersides of the boots once more for a recurring prank. Elrond headed for his study. "We can get them off in there – I have some solvent." Aragorn nodded.

"Hannon le." _.:I will make them pay! Revenge will be sweet:._

"What are you grinning about, Estel?"

"Oh, nothing, ada."

oXo

"Well, that went well, except that YOU GUYS managed to get yourselves caught!" Elrohir harrumphed as they made their way up to Merry's room. Merry folded his arms crossly. "It's just that no-one ever suspects you, or you would have been caught too! Anyway, we're not caught yet – he can't prove anything!"

"Yeah," Elladan shrugged nonchalantly, "but he doesn't need to. He'll seek revenge anyway. I've known him since he was a kid, and he can be very malicious."

"Uh oh." Pippin sighed as they entered the room, "Seems like we've picked ourselves a tough one – one that's gonna fight back!"

oXo

Meanwhile, Aragorn stomped out into the East Garden, barefoot, a look of grim determination upon his features… Revenge would be sweet! He would teach those pranking hobbits a lesson!

TBC


	8. Ew, Veggies!

**Sorry that I haven't updated in a while – I didn't get a chance to tell you guys before we went away, and these last few days I think I've just been taking a break from typing… :S**

Chapter Eight: Ew…Veggies!

"Now we need to gather the stuff for part two of this prank," said Merry, munching on a strawberry muffin saved from breakfast. That really had been one of the most interesting breakfasts ever! He still chuckled at the thought of Strider spread-eagled on the floor and the Lord Elrond trying unsuccessfully to remove the rigged boots.

"What's so funny, Merry?" asked Pippin absently.

"You know what's so funny. Uhmmm… These strawberry muffins really are excellent!" Pip, polishing of his second, which unfortunately for the hobbits was the last, nodded his agreement.

"Ten out of ten!"

"Erm… Pranks," Elrohir prompted.

"Ohhh, yes, Arwen's hair!" Pippin's eyes narrowed and he grinned darkly. "We need flowers, lots of flowers! And other, less attractive plants," he added as an afterthought, "Ones that don't smell so good." Merry rubbed his hands together, giggling.

"I don't know if you'll find anything like that in the Rivendell gardens," said Elladan objectively, "Hey! Who ate all the muffins!"

"Weeds?" said Pippin hopefully. Elladan shook his head.

"Not a chance. No weed dares show its head in the gardens of Rivendell."

"Hmm…"

"But there's always the vegetable patch and the herb garden!" Elrohir cried, "There's plenty of nasty stuff in there!"

"Ohhh, yes!" Pippin's eyes shone.

"I wish you'd stop saying that, Pip," sighed Merry, "You don't know how annoying it gets."

"Sorry, Merry. Let's go!" Pippin ran for the door.

"Hold it, Halfling!" Elladan chuckled, "Do you even known where the said garden is?"

"Err, no." Pippin giggled.

"I thought not. It's in the East Garden, under and around that huge weeping willow. You'll see it."

"Great! C'mon Merry! Let's go!"

"Wait, Pippin!" exclaimed Elrohir, "Why are you Halflings always in such a hurry! Now listen, you two will go first. Hide under the willow once you're there, because we're going to join you via a different route, and it'll look suspicious if we're all seen together, us being the notorious pranksters that we are." He nudged his twin. "Don't worry, that willow is like a big tent, no-one'll see you unless ada –"

"Adder?" echoed Pip, who really didn't speak a word of elvish.

"Ada," corrected Elrohir, while his brother snickered, "It means 'father' in Sindarin. Anyway, as I was trying to say, you're pretty much safe unless ada decides to go picking herbs, but I don't think he will, because he gathered enough yesterday."

"Great; may we go?"

"Yes, now you may go."

"Yay!" Merry and Pippin scampered out the door, Pippin in the lead. Elrohir grinned to himself. He'd left out the fact that large edible mushrooms grew under the willow. He'd leave the hobbits to discover that for themselves. It would keep them out of trouble and out of sight.

oXo

"Err, hi Strider… Fancy meetin' you here." Pippin smiled shyly up at the Ranger, who backed up against the wall, hastily hiding something behind his back.

"Uh, good morning to you, Merry and Pippin. I was actually on my way up to see you two." True enough.

"Err, you were?" Merry and Pippin glanced at each other nervously, horrible images flashing through their minds.

"Yup, I wanted to talk to you guys. I, err" – he gave a beguiling smile – "I just wanted to say, no hard feelings about the boot incident. You and I both know it was you."

"You don't mind?" asked Pippin incredulously.

"Pipp-in!" Merry groaned. His younger cousin had, as usual, given their game away. Aragorn ignored him.

"Nope," he said, "Consider it forgiven and forgotten."

"Wow." Pippin was impressed. So much for revenge. "Gosh, thanks, Strider." Aragorn nodded, grinning again.

"See you. Have a nice day!" He hurried off, keeping his back to the wall.

"Pippin, you _idiot_!" Merry turned on his cousin with a face like thunder, and Peregrin cowered, expecting to be t humped, but Merry wasn't finished yelling. "Fool of a Took! Gone and messed things up! Again! Now he knows!"

"Merry, he already knew. Weren't you listening?"

"No he didn't. He just _said_ he did." But Merry didn't pursue the matter. "Come," he growled, "to the East Garden! Quick now! Strider's up to something. We'd best work quickly."

oXo

"Ohh, look, Merry! Mushrooms!" Pippin swooped and came up triumphant, holding a large brown field mushroom in each hand. He handed one to Merry, whose eyes instantly lit up.

"Still cross?"

"A little." But Merry grinned, dusted the mushroom off, and took a large bite. "Uhmm…" Pippin did likewise.

"Oh!" he exclaimed, "There's more of them!" The hobbit knelt and began to pick his knew found treasures, carrying them in his shirt. Mery followed suite.

"Ooohhh, there's a monster, heehee!"

"That one's mine!"

"Mm-mmm!" The hobbits were so absorbed in their mushroom picking that they failed to hear the approach of two sets of soft footsteps in the grass.

"Hey, Merry, hey, Pippin." Elladan grinned as the hobbits spun around guiltily. "I see you found the mushrooms. Oh, you needn't worry," he said with a wave of his hand, "Take all you want. Ada won't mind."

"Oohhh, fanks," said Pippin through a mouthful.

"Just don't get sick."

"We won't."

"Okay, good, now help me pick this basil," said Elladan, who carried a woven basket. "Get the tomato leaves too – they have a rather nasty smell."

"Heh, you're right." Pip wrinkled his nose. "Nor do these potato leaves, Ick."

"Great – take them. You can wash your hands when you're done."

oXo

"Right, well, I think we have enough now." Elladan stood up and stretched some time later. "We don't want to destroy the garden too much, or it'll be obvious. Merry and Pippin – put those mushrooms in the basket rather. You do look awfully strange."

oXo

As they made their way up to Merry's room once more, keeping out of sight, Elrohir frowned.

"I can't help but feel a little bad about this," he said, biting his lip, "After all, she _is_ my sister…"

"Oh, come off it 'Ro. Estel's your brother, and you pranked him. Well, foster brother, but same idea." Elladan shrugged.

"I dunno. Brother's different to sister. I just feel like I'm betraying her, that's all…" he looked troubled.

"You wouldn't _tell_ her, would you!" Elladan asked in a serious, awed voice.

"No!" snapped Elrohir, and didn't mention it again. He wasn't two faced, he just had a little more conscience, perhaps.

oXo

When the basket had been dumped on Merry's bed and the hobbits were once more tucking into the mushrooms, Elrohir produced an empty crystal bottle, of the sort used to store potions and medicines. It was topped with a cork stopper. Elladan picked up the basket.

"Now the two of us go down to the kitchens and mix all of this into a lovely, foul-smelling shampoo, saving all the flowers of course. Here." He tossed a bunch at Merry.

"But how will you accomplish this without getting caught?" Pippin frowned. Elladan grinned. "Oh, I'll say ada told us to make up some insecticide, and these are the ingredients. It's a new recipe. Potent, eh?" The hobbits wholeheartedly agreed, and the twins made for the kitchens.

oXo

When they returned, Elladan carried the bottle, and it was now filled with a grass green liquid.

"Take a whiff of this!" He uncorked it, and Merry and Pippin, now thoroughly gorged on mushrooms, took a cautious sniff. The smell almost made them gag. Pippin smiled up at the elves, who were both grinning from ear to ear.

"She's in for it, all right."

"Yup." Elladan replaced the stopper and clasped the precious bottle to his chest. "Now, we wait for nightfall."

TBC


	9. Evil Mutant Flytrap! Run!

**OMG, look, it's a new chapter:faints: Well, I had major writer's block, and that combined with having to update two stories at the same time… Just doesn't work out :S Anyway, I have finally had an idea, and so I wrote chapter nine and ten (still to be typed out). Ten is a good deal longer than this. Enjoy :)**

Chapter Nine

The Plant made a soft clicking sound as Pippin, standing on tiptoe, reached towards the pot. At first the hobbit had been disappointed when the others had told him that he was not to be helping them with the preparation of Arwen's hair, but once the twins had told him of his duties tonight he had soon forgotten his regrets. He was to retrieve the object for Sam's prank and set it up all by himself! They were going to have _two_ pranks tomorrow! Pippin felt himself glow with pride to think that they trusted him with such a dangerous mission… Well, he would show them that he was perfectly capable of handling such a task – he would get it right this time and not botch things up! So far he had managed to get into the Lord Elrond's study without causing a disturbance. Being a hobbit had its advantages. Now he stood before a shelving cabinet upon which the Plant stood, glowing softly in the eerie light of a stray moonbeam. It resembled something Pippin had seen in his childhood, a Flytrap or something… But instead of the broad, flat leaves and small size of the Flytrap, this Plant was considerably larger, and thick green tendrils grew from its center, curling at the tips. Some stood erect, watchful, and some drooped lazily over the edges of the pot, but every now and again the tendrils (or shall we call them tentacles, for I do not think that these are your average tendrils) moved, curling and then uncurling again, like some great slumbering beast. It was as if the Plant was watching the hobbit with the lazy air of a predator lying in wait, biding its time. Its traps cast strange shadows upon the walls, and one slowly stretched, opening and shutting slowly, as if anticipating the taste of hobbit flesh. It hissed softly as Pippin placed his hands firmly around the pot and picked it up, grinning nervously. A sudden, more venomous hiss from the Plant when the hobbit ignored the first warning, and then a tentacle shot out and wrapped itself tightly around the hobbit's wrist. Pippin let out a muffled yelp, remembering that, no matter what, he must be quiet, and leapt backwards, nearly dropping the Plant. With a contented sound somewhere between a purr and a croak, a second tentacle was wrapped around Pippin's other wrist. The hobbit's eyes widened with fear and he gave a little whimper. Oh! Curse those elven twins! It had all been their idea. Now Pippin would be killed by this evil mutant Flytrap! And he daren't yell for help lest the Lord Elrond should hear him. Pippin doubted that the Lord of Imladris would take well the fact that the hobbit had been 'messing' with his potplant. Either way, he was going to die. Oh, it was a sorry way to go! _.:I'm too young to die:._ thought Pippin desperately, _.:I'm not even out of my tweens:._ With this sudden thought, Peregrin placed the pot on a desk and drew himself up to his full height. He took a deep breath.

"Back! Evil fiend!" he cried in a shrill voice, "You shall not best Peregrin, son of Paladin!" The Plant squeaked; it sounded taken aback. Its tentacles went slack for a few precious moments, but that was all Pippin needed to disentangle himself from its clutches and pin it to its pot. "AH HA! _Now_ who is the victor, pray tell? I have you, and I'm not about to let go either!" The Plant croaked and struggled, snapping its traps irritably.

"Mmmmmmmrrrrrrrrrowwwwwwwwwwww."

"Oh no you don't, you!" Pippin's cheeks were rosy and his face glowed with excitement. The Plant was silent, sulking. Head held high, Pippin carried it out of the study and padded up the passage to Sam's room.

oOo

Luckily, the door was slightly ajar, and so Pippin had only to nudge it slightly and tiptoe in. The room was bathed in moonlight, so Pippin needn't worry about stumbling in the dark. He padded up to the bedside table, hoping and praying that the Plant would not break the silence. The little wooden table was a little way away from the bed and quite tall, so provided Pippin placed it near to the edge, the Plant would not be able to reach Sam. Holding his breath, Peregrin leant over and carefully placed the Plant on the table, then jumped clear as if he'd been burned. The Plant stretched out its many tentacles and purred softly. Then it was still. Satisfied, Pippin tiptoed out, making sure to leave the door as he'd found it.

oOo

The hobbit wanted to laugh with glee as he padded up to Merry's room. There he found the rest of the group waiting for him.

"I did it!" he squeaked, bouncing up and down in his excitement, "I did it! But you might've told me of its behavioural problems…" he added as an afterthought, frowning. Elladan sniggered.

"Gave you a bit of trouble, did it?" Elrohir asked. Pippin nodded._ .:If only you knew:._ "Well, you seem to have handled it mightily well." The elf patted the hobbit on the back.

"Thanks. How did it go with you guys?" he asked. Merry grinned.

"Oh, Pip, you should've been there! Well, no, you shouldn't've; what I mean was that it went right as planned! Not one single mess-up!"

"Not even courtesy of you?" Pippin grinned wickedly.

"Aww, Pip." Merry glared venomously at his younger cousin.

"Well, actually, young Meriadoc here managed to drop the bottle of shampoo. Fortunately for him it didn't break." It was Elladan's turn to glare at Merry. The hobbit shuffled his feet.

"It wasn't my fault, okay? I tripped over Elladan's boot, therefore it was _Elladan's _fault!"

"Excuse me! Was not!"

"Was too!"

"Was _not_!"

"Guys!" cried an exasperated Elrohir, "You can take this outside tomorrow if you must, but right now let's just get some sleep. We have a big day tomorrow. Ada's holding that important council something or other, so we must be ready. He winked slyly as he said 'ready'.

Pippin yawned and swayed on his feet. Merry too stifled a yawn, but not before glaring at Elladan.

"Agreed!"

oOo

Pippin trudged off to his room, so tired that he could hardly keep his eyes open. What was that Elrohir had said about a Council tomorrow? No idea. It probably didn't concern him anyway, though Elrohir had mentioned being 'ready' for it, so even if it didn't involve them, it would still herald good fun. Oh, he couldn't wait for tomorrow! And Pippin went to bed tired but happy.

**Hope you enjoyed. As usual, review, and could I ask you to go to my profile and take a look at the pics of my tech project (yes, that is also why I couldn't get started, even after I had the idea.) It will appeal to all those horsey people out there lol! XD **

**Windsong**


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